


Such a Scary Word

by March_Lion_98



Category: Robin (Comics), Robin: Son of Batman (Comics), Super Sons (Comics), Superboy (Comics), Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Clark Kent Needs a Hug, Dad Clark Kent, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Fixing Bendis, Freeform, Gen, Goodbyes, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Jon Kent is Sorely Missed, Light Angst, Making this up as I go along, Male Bonding, Male Friendship, Men Crying, Overprotective Damian Wayne, Plotbunnies, Sad, Sad Ending, Tags Are Hard, Tomasi Forever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25509241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/March_Lion_98/pseuds/March_Lion_98
Summary: Damian gets a weird text from Jon saying he's going to space, so he rushes to his rescue. Thus begins a chain of events that turn his world upside down...
Relationships: Clark Kent & Damian Wayne, Jonathan Samuel Kent & Damian Wayne
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: This has been ret-conned into Part 1 of "Super Sons: Torn Apart."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian gets a weird text from Jon saying he's going to... space?! So of course he rushes to his rescue.

A flock of pigeons scattered as the gigantic red bat-dragon descended; it snatched one out of mid-flight and stuffed it into his mouth as he landed. "Tt. You're such a pig, Goliath, you know that?" Robin chided as he dismounted.

He looked around the nondescript rooftop. The air seemed to shimmer in one spot- an illusion caused by the early summer heat, or a cloaked spaceship? He tossed a tracker just to be certain. It hit something invisible with a thunk, and sizzled on impact before falling to the ground, a sparking, charred husk. Yup, definitely an alien ship.

"Stay," he commanded. Goliath sat down on his haunches, contentedly crunching bird bones. Robin got to work fixing a grappling line to the side of the roof so he could make the familiar climb… down to the fire escape outside Superboy's bedroom.

As he gently, silently lifted the window, he heard a sizzling fzzzzzzt and saw a familiar red glow- heat vision. "Jon," he said in a stage whisper.

"Huh- Wha- Damian?!" Jon frantically whipped around to look while slamming his third drawer shut.

"Shhh! Keep it down! They'll hear you!" Damian scolded, still whispering.

"Uhh, super-hearing. I can guarantee Dad and Grandpa both know you're here," Jon said. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Duh! Rescuing you! C'Mon, if they know I'm here then there's no time to-"

"No."

Damian froze. "...No?"

"No. What on Earth made you think I needed rescuing in the first place?!"

"Five exclamation points." Damian held up his phone, displaying Jon's latest text: "Grandpa's taking me 2 space!!!!!"

Jon slapped his face. "Unbelievable."

"Hey, given our track record with evil relatives I thought it was a fair assumption," Damian defended, hopping off the window sill into the bedroom proper.

"Your track record," Jon huffed.

"Yeah, sure, whatever- look. Why do you even want to go to space in the first place?! It's insane!"

"Uhh dude. Do you hear yourself? It's SPACE! It'd be more insane NOT to go!" Jon folded his arms and smiled smugly. "You're just jealous I'm going this year without you, aren't you."

"What? No! It's just- so sudden-!"

"Well it's not like Grandpa emailed ahead to let us know he was coming." Jon opened a different drawer and started grabbing clothes to stuff in his duffel bag.

"Exactly! How do you know you can trust his intentions?!"

"Oh, I dunno, because he's already saved my life a few times?" Jon took a deep breath. "Here's the thing. Ever since Evil Tim tried to kill me, I've been scared. Scared of what I can do, scared of what I'm DESTINED to do," Jon explained. "I'm not human, I'm not Kryptonian- I don't even know what I am, let alone who I am!"

"You're Jonathan Kent," Damian offered. "You're Superboy. You're my partner."

"I'm a freak! I'm a monster in the making!" Jon cried. "Grandpa Jor-El said he could help me, and I NEED HIS HELP!"

"WELL I NEED YOU!" Even Damian was surprised by the words that just came out of his mouth. Jon was speechless. "...I need you," he repeated, as if he were only just realizing it was true.

"...what?" Jon stared in disbelief.

"I've… never had a real f-friend before," Damian said, trying to make sense of his outburst. "I never understood what the word even meant- it's so vague. So confusing. Like, it means so many different things, but also nothing at all." His voice shook. "Family is easy. A Team is easy. Partners is easy. You know where you stand with 'partners.'" Damian looked off to the side and pressed his fingers together, resisting the urge to fidget. "Friend was always such a scary word… But knowing you has made me so… happy…"

"...what are you saying…?" Jon asked, bewildered.

"I'm saying I don't want you to go- I'm saying I'll miss you! Because- cause I- I-" The words caught in his throat.

Jon lunged forward and squeezed his friend a little too tightly; and after a moment's surprise, Damian returned the spontaneous embrace. "I'll miss you, too," Jon whispered into Damian's ear. "But this is something I need to do."

"You'll be back, right?" Damian whispered back, his voice a little hoarse.

"It's just for the summer," Jon replied. "I'll be back before you know it."

"You'd better be…"

"Promise." Jon released his grip on Damian…

…then kissed him.

On the forehead. But, still.

He kissed him.

They heard footsteps outside the door, and just before it opened Jon took two steps back. Lois saw nothing. "Hey, you done packing yet- oh. Hi, Damian."

He waved. "Hi."

"Diiiiid I interrupt something?"

Two wagging heads indicated yes, but she didn't push it. She spotted the stuffed duffel on Jon's bed and added, "If you're all set we're leaving in five, so come on up to the roof."

"Be right there."

She nodded and walked away.

"So… do you... wanna come see us off?" Jon asked, rubbing his arm.

Damian forced himself to smile, even as tears leaked from underneath his mask. "I'd like that."

* * *

Jon stood with Lois on the ship's boarding ramp, Jor-El hanging back further up. Clark and Damian waved about five feet from its foot.

The departure was a silent ceremony; nothing more could be said. The four of them instead exchanged farewells in a language of looks. I wish you wouldn't go. This is for the best. I'll miss you. I'll miss you, too.

Every single one of them fought back tears to the very bitter end when Jor-El closed the doors and took off.

Goliath licked himself off to the side.

Without warning, Damian wrapped his arms around Clark and buried his face in his chest. Clark new exactly how he felt, so he held him gently.

"Hey, Rob… You wanna come down for some ice cream?"

"Is… that alright?"


	2. I Never Got the Chance to Get to Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wake of Lois and Jon's unexpected departure, Clark invites Damian down for ice cream so they could talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I wasn't really planning this but I felt the sudden urge to write a follow-up chapter and now the plot bunnies are breeding aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Neither Damian nor Clark could think of a word that would do justice to what they were feeling, so as they consumed their ice cream they simply sat in a companionable silence that suited them both. The costumed fourteen-year-old stuffed his bowl well past the rim and smothered the pile with every available topping, just like Jon would have, and the responsible adult in the room did nothing to stop him. Rules had their place, but some moments demanded concessions to comfort.

After a while, Clark finally spoke up. "Finally slowin' down there, son?" 

"I'm not your son," Damian snipped. 

"Sorry," Clark said. But Damian really was slowing down; he mostly wiggled his spoon between his fingers, only occasionally taking another bite from his sugary mountain. Meanwhile, Clark had already finished his more reasonably sized portion.

At last, Damian pushed his bowl aside and sighed. "I suppose I _am_ full, though." He got up and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Clark asked.

“Home,” Damian curtly replied.

“Wha- so soon?”

“You may recall you specifically invited me down for ice cream. We ate ice cream. It was delicious. Thank you. But now that our business has concluded, I see no reason to linger. I sincerely hope your evening is better than your afternoon was, Mr. Kent.”

“Damian- Wait!”

The boy paused by the door. “What is it?”

“Well, I- I was actually kind of hoping we could talk?” Clark suggested.

“What is there to talk about?” Damian was clearly annoyed. Beneath his gloves, his knuckles turned white squeezing the doorknob.

“I dunno, anything? Everything?” Clark shrugged. “Look. I know I haven’t always trusted you, and I know I haven’t been particularly friendly toward you in the past. But, maybe that’s because I never got the chance to get to know you- at least, not the way Jon knew you.”

The masked teen gave it a moment’s thought. “ _Tt._ Alright. Fine,” Damian resigned as he returned to the table and sat down in his old spot, kicking his feet up onto the tabletop and leaning his chair back, hands behind his head. “What do you wanna know?”

Clark paused, drumming his fingers against the tabletop, not quite sure where to begin. “Well… do you… like being Robin?”

“ _Hrn_. I excel at it. I apply myself to it diligently, as with everything else,” Damian replied.

“Of course. Anyone can see that,” Clark admitted. “But that’s not what I asked you.”

“It’s an exceedingly productive use of my time, energy, and skills. What more could I possibly say?”

Clark really wasn’t expecting so much evasiveness around a simple yes-or-no question- really a ‘yes’ seemed obvious at first glance- so he was well and truly intrigued. “Is this something you genuinely enjoy doing, though?” he asked. “Would you do it even if no one asked you to?” 

Damian opened and closed his mouth several times, unable to find a response that satisfied him.

“I never understood what Bruce was thinking, getting so many kids involved,” Clark explained. “He always said it was to help guide them away from a darker path, like his, but… how does forcibly exposing traumatized kids to even more violence, even more pain- how does it help them? I never could see it.”

“But you got Jon involved, too,” Damian countered. “Why?”

“Because he asked,” Clark answered. “His is a unique situation. He needed to learn more about his growing powers, and he wanted to spend more time with me anyway, so, I figured it would be a good idea to teach him to help people while doing it. It made sense. So… Superboy.”

“Makes sense,” Damian supposed, rocking his chair back and forth by pushing his leg against the table. “But I think the same could be said of the other Robins before me. The first desperately wanted to hunt down his parents’ killer, and did so without Father’s permission; without Batman he might’ve been a killer at the age of eight. Or dead. The second was eager to pay Father back for what he perceived to be charity- which if he hadn’t received he would’ve been doomed to a life of petty street crime. Number three volunteered because he saw the Batman losing control without a partner- annoying though he may be, he’s actually a detective gifted enough to work out Father’s secret identity on his own. Yet his gifts would have otherwise gone to waste in the life of a trust fund yuppie. And the Spoiler stalked the night of her own accord long before she became a Robin. None of them were forced into it, and all came out better for it.”

Clark listened attentively. He knew all of their real names, of course, but said nothing. “Interesting. But- what about you? Why did _you_ become Robin?”

“Why did I-?” Damian’s chair crashed to the floor- lucky it didn’t break.

“Damian! Are you okay?!” Clark leaped from his seat to help him up, scanning with his X-ray vision to ensure he remained uninjured- even if it was just a minor fall.

“Yes, I’m fine.” He slapped aside Clark’s extended hand, flipped himself up, righted the chair, and sat back down- properly, this time. “It’s just-” he sighed. “I suppose I became Robin… the moment I met my Father.”

“How did that happen, exactly?” Clark asked inquisitively.

Damian scowled. “ _Tt._ You’re well aware of my history, Kent.” 

“That may be, but… still. I’d like to hear it from you. If that’s alright?”

“ _Hrn…_ It was my tenth birthday. Mother finally let me win our annual duel, so she kept her word and introduced me to Father. I… did not make a good first impression with anyone. And I-” Damian stopped. Some details should perhaps be left unspoken in front of the Big Blue Boy Scout. He tried again. “I was raised in the League of Assassins. Which means I was trained to fight since before I was even born. And with that background Father just _assumed_ I would assist him as a matter of course.”

“You make it sound like you didn’t want to,” Clark interjected, a note of concern in his voice.

“Oh, I wanted to.” Damian resumed twiddling his spoon. “Robin was my birthright. My inheritance. And someday, so too will be the mantle of the Bat.”

Wanted. Was. Past tense, Clark noted. And his words seemed… recited. Hollow. “I’m sensing a ‘but’...?” Clark suggested.

Damian barreled ahead. “ _But_ , once I had… demonstrated my skills- the ones Mother gave me...” Clark visibly grimaced. “...let’s just say things grew complicated between us. I was Robin, then I wasn’t, then I was, then I was grounded, then dead, then alive again…”

“Ooh, yeah, I know how that is.” Clark sympathized. He truly did.

Damian sighed. “Why am I even telling you all this…?” 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Clark reassured. “Really.”

Damian folded his arms. “Fine. I don’t want to.” 

“That’s perfectly fine.”

They fell into another long silence, but Damian made no move for the door, so Clark stayed put. 

Damian examined his conversation with Clark (more like an interrogation, really) from every angle; every word, every gesture, searching for any clue as to his true intent. But he found none- at least, none that he could easily understand. He detected a few new signals, though, which even after a few years he was only beginning to learn; he still didn’t fully grasp their meaning, but… there they were. Little notes in his voice, his phrasing, his posture, his gestures, his _eyes_ , all of which suggested that Clark Kent- Superman, he mustn’t forget- was… _worried_ about him. Or… _concerned._

Damian took another bite from his melting sundae to steady himself. Clark still said nothing, did nothing but wait.

Damian could feel the words choking him; this painful weight in his chest demanding silence, demanding distraction, demanding escape.

Needing air.

“Fa-” he tried. Clark snapped to attention at the sound of the syllable, but waited patiently for a finished phrase. “...Father… never speaks with me like this. Not… really.” It took every fiber of courage the boy possessed to squeeze even this much out of his system. “Not unless- not until… I hurt someone.”

Clark’s eyes widened, but still he said nothing, so Damian continued. “He’s never... he’s never _there_. Always off on some mission somewhere. Or in a meeting. Grounding me on a whim just to make sure I’m still his good little soldier, ignoring me if I am, _screaming_ at me when I’m not but at least it’s better than _silence!”_ He didn’t even realize he was starting to cry again until his voice cracked at ‘silence.’

Clark put a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder. “Do you want me to talk to Bruce?” he asked.

Damian couldn’t process the question. His mask was getting irritatingly wet so he peeled it off. In a high-pitched whine that could only come from a voice not yet fully matured, he continued. “Did you know _snffl_ he never told me… _snffl_ he never told me _why_ killing was wrong… _snffl_ he never explained… _snffl_ until I killed a man… _snffl_ who was already down… _snffl_ I didn’t get it… _snffl_ and he couldn’t see that I just _didn’t get it… snffl_ and even when he did I had to read up on it after just to make it make _sense..."_

Clark couldn’t take it anymore. “Come here, kiddo,” he said, pulling Damian into a hug (third in one day- a new record). His shoulder got all wet with tears and snot but that didn't matter. “You know, Bruce is doing his best… You know that, right…?”

“I know,” Damian moaned.

“But that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s the best at these things, or that he never makes mistakes...”

_“Tt. snffl.”_

Clark rubbed Damian’s back in an attempt at a soothing motion, but the boy quickly squirmed out of his grip. Clark apologized.

“It’s fine, just… _snffl_ felt like snakes.”

Clark mentally shrugged and decided not to question it. “Would you like for me to talk to Bruce for you...?”

 _“Tt._ You’re going to anyway, aren’t you?”

Clark shook his head. “That may be how you Bats do things, but I won’t say or do anything about this without your say-so.”

Damian didn’t know what to say. Was he for real? Of course he was. He’s Superman. He’s _Clark Kent._ And… he was here to help. Even when the world wasn’t about to end he was _still_ here to help. Here to _listen_.

Was he for real?

Of course he was.

He’s Clark Kent.

In the end Damian nodded and whispered, “Thank you.”

Clark smiled, and suddenly Damian knew where Jon got his. “Anytime.”

Another awkward silence threatened to creep in around the edges, but Damian saw it coming and cut it off. “...I like to paint.”

“...Excuse me?”

“I like to paint. And act. And read and make music and feed and pet my animals. But being Robin… That’s work.”

“Ah. I see.” The question Damian was dodging earlier- he just needed his space. “But- why do it, then?”

“Because I _need_ to.” Damian shrugged. “If I don’t… I’m a monster.” 

Clark’s heart broke a little inside. “I don’t think you’re a monster, Damian.”

 _“snffl_ You don’t?”

“I don’t.”

“What changed your mind?”

“I never thought- never mind.” Clark knew a rabbit trail when he saw one. “The thing is, I’ve met too many monsters in my time. Men who’ve annihilated entire species without breaking a sweat, not a morsel of guilt or shame or remorse for what they’ve done. And trust me. You, kiddo, are _not_ that.”

“But… I used to be… I could’ve been…”

“But you’re not right now. Are you?”

“...No, Mr. Kent.”

“Please,” he smiled. “Call me Clark.”

“No… _Clark_. Nope, feels wrong. Sorry Mr. Kent.”

“You don’t need to be so hard on yourself, kid. You know that, right?”

“Actually I need the discipline. Everyone knows I can have _quite_ the ego at times.”

Clark laughed. “At times? Ha ha… but, seriously. You shouldn’t have to force yourself to be Robin. If you would really rather not-”

“It’s not like I secretly hate it or anything, it’s… fine,” Damian interrupted. “And sometimes, Jon makes it even a little…” He smiled slightly, just at the corners of his mouth. “ _...f_ _un."_ Another word he was still getting used to. But his smile quickly faded, just as the mirth drained from Clark’s face.

“What are you doing?” Damian moaned. “What am _I_ doing? Your son just packed up and left out of the blue, you must be losing your mind, yet here I am wasting your time.”

“You’re not wasting my time. I invited you down, remember?”

“...right.”

“Besides. You lost your best friend, too.”

“...yeah… but…” Damian sighed. “...yeah."

Clark thought for a second, then stood up and said “Hang on a sec. Be right back,” before turning toward the bedrooms. Must be going to get something, Damian thought.

Sure enough, in less than a minute he was back with an alien-looking device.

“Is that…?” Damian left the question dangling.

“Jor-El left me an interstellar transmitter-slash-receiver, so we could send messages back and forth while they’re away,” Clark explained. “No live calling, but… it’s something.”

“Does that mean…" Too good to be true, Damian thought. “...I can stay in touch with Jon?" Damian asked, eyeing the device as if it were either a newborn kitten or a candy bar.

Clark nodded. "Yes- hopefully. Care to help me test it out?”

Damian’s mouth gaped. “...Really?”

“Sure. Why not? I was gonna do that tonight anyway, and… well… yeah.”

Damian was almost speechless- almost, but for a weak “Thank you.”

Clark was already tinkering with the mess of buttons, switches, and dials. “Okay, so how do I-” a red light blinked on. “Ah, here we go. Ahem. Hey, Lo! Jonno! Just testing the device to make sure it’s working- miss you already!”

“Hey is that thing transmitting?” Damian asked.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I think so.”

Damian jumped in and snatched the device from Clark’s hands. “Hey, you won’t be getting away from me that easy, Hayseed! Report in regularly or mark my words there WILL be- hey!”

“Hey yourself!” Clark countered as he seized the device again and lifted it high, far beyond Damian’s reach. “Be nice! You know I don’t _have_ to let you use this thing!”

“Hey, no fair! Okay! I’m sorry, okay?!

“Tell that to Jon!”

“Okay! I’m sorry, Jon! Um… miss you already?”

Clark smiled. “That’s probably fine.” He switched it off.

“Yeesh. Think they saw all that?” Damian groaned, slightly embarrassed.

“Oh, definitely,” Clark replied, more than slightly amused. “Or they will in a few minutes, or hours- who knows how far they’ve already flown.”

“Manhattan, probably,” Damian drawled. 

Clark frowned. “We don’t say that name in this house.”

Damian smirked. “Whatever.” He grabbed his mask from the table and put it back on- the adhesive stickers weren’t too badly damaged. “Anyway. It’s getting a little late, and I should probably head off now if I wanna make it back in time for patrol.”

“You wanna stay the night? I could call Bruce-”

“No need. Goliath has been sitting up on the roof a couple hours now and he needs to be fed and stabled soon. Besides…” He paused to look at the interstellar transmitter. “No offense, but… I don’t really see much point.”

Clark nodded. He understood. “Okay. Want me to fly home with you…?”

 _“Tt._ I can handle myself.” He turned toward the door, then stopped. “Thanks, though.”

“Alright, have a good night, Damian. Fly safe.”

“Thanks. Good night, Mr. K- Clark.” Damian stepped out through the front door, leaving Clark alone in his apartment.

* * *

Only when Damian was safely gliding above the clouds atop Goliath's back did he realize how truly exhausted he was. One text had upended his entire world; all of his summer plans were out the window. Because... he didn't realize it when he made them of course, but... they all involved Jon. And Clark... No one ever spoke to him like that. No one ever _listened_ like that- even Grayson would eventually get offended or lose his temper, but Clark...

Damian never realized until then just how much he'd left unsaid between himself and his father. He would need to remedy that soon. But tomorrow he had a Titans meeting, and too little time to prepare.

* * *

Clark had many things to think about, and many things to feel; his wife and son were now gone, far beyond his reach, far beyond his ability to protect them from whatever may come. He’d put on a stoic mask for Damian but underneath he was sick with worry. Tomorrow. Tomorrow there were things to do- his work at the Planet, and a talk with Bruce which was apparently long overdue. But tonight… Tonight he would need some time alone in his apartment, with all the artifacts and memories of yesterday’s familial bliss which already seemed so very far away. Clark would have never in a thousand years wished this place to become another fortress of solitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, gals and nonbinary pals, thanks so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments- especially if anything seems weird or drastically out of character.
> 
> Also: stay tuned for more chapters! Not sure when I'll update or how long this will run exactly because I'm really just making this up as I go along, but I already have ideas for two or three more, and things are about to get messy...

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys gals and non-binary pals, thanks for reading my first ever 'fic! I'm still really new to Fanfiction, and fandom communities in general, but I had so much fun making this!


End file.
